Last weekend was my 3rd day on the hill this season so far, and man…did it feel so, so good. Not gonna lie, my style had that swagger and my flow was smooth and sweet. Confidence was peaking. I was like, that jump? Sure, no problem. Frontside 180? Done. Backside 180? Done. Switch to frontside 180? Yep. Butters? A little bit. 360? So close. Will I get you soon, 360? You better believe it.
It was quite a different tune than what I sang even just as short as 48 hours prior. Not just with snowboarding, but with life and every little detail of it.
Last week, my first week back on my snowboard in 8 months (not counting being strapped into my board in my apt), I was in a bad way. I was really down on myself in general, and it reflected everywhere, including in my shredding. I was rusty. I was shaky. Perry straight up was like, “WTF was THAT rookie mistake?!” after I toppled over standing in the lift line. And it all comes back to a really bad head space that I have been in for the last few weeks. (Yes, even yogis occasionally get in really bad head spaces – it’s life.)
As of recent – and like I’ve done my whole life – when I start feeling down on myself in any part of my life, I go back to trying to be perfect. And each tiny moment I noticed my imperfections, I tried harder to overcompensate, and I’d just screw all of it up, and it turns into a nasty, nasty cycle. I can’t seem to ever settle for my imperfections, and it is that moment when I’m way too hard on myself that I end up actually being worse off.
(I would like to take this moment to say I’m sorry to all of my friends and also to say thank you at the same time, for putting up with the crazy.)
When we are younger, as people, we are taught to strive for more than “good enough.” “Good enough” is for the slackers and the losers that are complacent with their established lives and are not progressing. So, we carry that through all of our lives…in school, at work, in snowboarding…we are always trying to be better than just good enough.
Through this, I personally get lost in the line of what’s better than just doing the bare minimum, and meeting perfection.
But perfection is just simply unattainable. That is fact. I teach to my students all of the time…”It doesn’t have to be perfect. it just has to be.” I regularly forget to listen to my own teachings. The simplicity of just being is so much clearer when worn by someone else.
Being good enough is fine. It’s more than fine. It’s being. It’s living. It’s real, it’s here, and I can live with that.
And it’s in that moment, where I’m just good enough…that I evolved and got even better. I had such a blast yesterday that it immediately snapped me back to me. My feisty, fun…good enough… me.